So yeah, I like sandwiches.  Actually I love sandwiches.  That’s it.  That’s all.  Just had to get that out.

The thing is, we were at a 90th birthday party last weekend and, you know how these events go when the local church supplies finger foods: cheese and pickles and veggies and dips and fruit and cookies and squares.  Punch, coffee, tea.  You know, classic special occasion food for community halls or church basements.

But the highlight was the sandwiches.  On Wonder Bread and cut into quarters.  Some with cold cuts and lettuce but also those glorious ‘salad’ sandwiches: tuna salad (please, no salmon salad), chicken salad (mmm), egg salad (mmmmmm!), ham salad (mmmmmmmmm!) and some sort of gelatinous pink cream cheese salad mix (mmmmmmmmmmmm!)  Multiple layers of chewy, satisfying, high protein, high sodium mayo-flavors!

And I got to thinking – I love sandwiches!  Always best on fluffy, fresh, white or sourdough bread with real butter, but almost any bread carrier not called whole wheat will do.

And since this blog is about me … here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite sandwiches:

Simple sandwiches. Fresh bread or toast with butter, peanut butter, jelly.  My dad showed me the first sandwich I learned to make for myself – brown sugar sandwich with bread, butter, brown sugar (can you say child abuse?)  Oh, and peanut butter and onion with a little salt – wicked good but keeps my wife on the other side of the room…

Salad sandwiches. As mentioned above, I love anything pressed into a mush with mayonnaise stirred in. Prefer the egg salad with some chopped onion or generous green olives but any canned pseudo-meat mushed into a goo between slices is highly prized here.

Grilled sandwiches. The kings of this category are Reuben sandwiches and grilled cheese.  The Reuben is pretty standard (grilled rye bread, corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, mustard) but grilled cheese (grilled bread and cheese) can have any number of additions like bacon, hot peppers, onion, etc. and must be eaten with a generous amount of dipping ketchup available.

Day After sandwiches. Let’s say you have roast chicken for supper, or prime rib after church on Sunday, or ham or turkey on one of the big holidays.  And then the next day the thought strikes you – leftovers!  This is where relishes, pickles, cranberry sauce, horse radish and other favorite condiments come into play.  Have fun with it – ignore the taunts and make this sandwich your own.

Hot sandwiches.  It’s all about the gravy.

Most Unique sandwich. The Sweet and Sour Bagel.  Yeah, I invented this out of desperation one day when we were low on groceries, but man its good.  Start with a bagel and slice it in half.  I prefer Everything bagels but you have my permission to fudge a bit here (mm, fudge).   Toast it well (butter optional but obviously…), plaster each open half with the cream cheese of your choice.  Spread your favorite jam or preserve on the cream cheese, then dollop each half with hot pickled pepper rings.  Boom! Serve with a side of Pepto Bismal.  You’ll love it.

My Favorite sandwich. This is a ‘post-holiday’ sandwich and begins, as usual, with good bread.  Butter two slices of bread.  Slice or pick turkey and place on one of the slices. On the face of the other slice of bread add mayo and cranberries.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Slap it together, get a napkin and enjoy.

Honorable mention: Any deli sandwich piled high with any kind of high-fat, smoked, cured, tubed, sausage meat is worth every penny.  And another honorable mention to a unique deli creation: chopped liver and egg salad on rye.  There, I said it.  You’ll love it or you’ll hate it but you’ll never forget it.

Well, that’s all for now. Gotta go. My wife just got home and I’m feeling kind of hungry, which brings me to one last piece of sandwich advice.  The best sandwiches are ones that somebody else makes for you…