The circus is back in town – prophecy edition

I’m not sure who changed. Maybe they did but I think it’s mostly me. I used to be amused with their act but now they just make me angry. Sad really. So much potential light but they end up spewing so much darkness.

The circus is still in town.

If you wonder what I mean by ‘circus’, I’m referring to outer-fringe fundamentalist and charismatic evangelicals who empty a beautiful faith with their cheap acts. Maybe they are faith-healers or ‘prophets’ or health & wealth pushers but in their hands the Bible gets twisted and Christianity gets sullied while they perform, sell and pillage.

Oh, and they also use and mislead gullible people in the process. You can check out an archived blog from a few years ago that is about the craziness (and sacrilege) that was just as real then as it is today https://bertrim.ca/circus/.

As I write this, it’a rainy afternoon and I am channel surfing (I have a short attention span) and I just crossed paths with John Hagee on his television program. If you’re not sure who this is, he is a television preacher/author who has made Israel and biblical prophecy a central theme. His recent claim to fame was as one of the evangelicals who spoke at the opening of the U.S. embassy in Jerusalem a couple of weeks ago.

Hagee has written a passel of books (did I just say passel? What is that?) His best seller Four Blood Moons went to #4 on the New York Times best seller list in 2014. Apparently something notable was supposed to happen in 2015 when the moons showed up (and probably did because things happen all the time) but he hasn’t said much about it since.

Anyway, regarding the Jerusalem embassy, Hagee told Donald Trump, “… the moment that you do that, I believe that you will step into political immortality,” Well, I guess I’m a prophet too because I also predict Trump will be remembered for a long time, even longer than Stormy Daniels. For different reasons of course but … no, kinda the same reasons come to think of it.

Speaking of clowns end times, Jesse Duplantis figures that same U.S.embassy in Jerusalem means the final days are here so he needs 50 million dollars to buy a new personal jet so he can travel, preaching the gospel as fast as possible without re-fueling. Oh, his other jets were nice but God told him he needs this jet. Oh wait, it’s not his jet, sillies, it’s the ministry’s jet. Oh, and he doesn’t like debt so he wants to pay for it with cash – only seems right.

Sooo, does that mean he only accepts cash donations through the mail or is he okay if you run up your credit card to donate to him?

His deep thought on this was, “I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the earth today he wouldn’t be riding a donkey. Think about that for a minute. He’d be in an airplane preaching the gospel all over the world.”

Well, I’ve thought about it, Jesse: Jesus didn’t use any mechanical modes of transportation, never traveled farther than he could walk, and Jesus riding on the donkey was primarily about humility. If Jesus needed to travel (he wouldn’t) he would more likely take a bus. Show us a miracle, Jesse – show us you walking.

[Here it is: ‘A passel is ‘a large group of people or things of indeterminate number’. Okay, I used it correctly.]

So retired firefighter Mark Taylor saw Trump on TV back in 2009 and heard God tell him that he would become president because it was God’s will. After the Trump thing happened Taylor bumped into Mary Colbert – apparently he was some kind of fan. Colbert majors in prophecy, fire-breathing writing books and marketing the first two by appearing on Christian television and justifying her views with loose manipulation of the Bible. Anyway, this Mark guy was gold and Mary knew it; she immediately got a book into print about him then had him on the road with her promoting it.

They continue to appear together on the incestuous prophecy show circuit because, wait for it … he now has a flood of new prophecies! They’re about Trump and the U.S. because obviously God’s main job is taking care of America. Programming note: Taylor is prophesying that former President Obama will be arrested soon so that should make for more good TV.

Anyway, I watched her defend Trump and his belittling and insulting language, including cursing and calling people animals. She emphatically explained that Jesus used strong language too – words like ‘vipers’, ‘whitewashed tombs’ and ‘you fox.’ Ooooh… such strong Trump-like language, Jesus.

Look, Trump’s language is regularly crude, profane and dehumanizing while Jesus’ language was occasionally strong and descriptive when he confronted political and religious elites who took advantage of others…………. Anybody else see the irony?

What a bunch of side-show knuckleheads these people are. Sorry for the strong language.

There is a place on Colbert’s website where I can ‘SIGN UP FOR PROPHETIC CALL TO PRAYER NOTIFICATIONS’ whatever the heck that is, but although I was very curious I couldn’t bring myself to sign up because the creep factor was just too overwhelming.

By the way, as almost all seminary students know, prophecy isn’t about predicting specific events, it’s about warning that there will be consequences to our sin. Very different from what these circus acts people pretend to know.

Jim Bakker‘s second coming (get it? Second Coming?) continues to rattle along at a depressingly high speed as he warns people of the second coming. His program is full of doomsayers and doomsday predictions. In fact, if you aren’t complaining about liberal control of politics or predicting armageddon you’re just not much of a guest.

Last week he had guests Paul McGuire, prophecy expert and co-author of the book, Trumpocalypse: The End-Times President, a Battle Against the Globalist Elite, and the Countdown to Armageddon and Troy Anderson, investigative journalist and co-author of the same book, Trumpocalypse: The End-Times President, a Battle Against the Globalist Elite, and the Countdown to Armageddon (I’m guessing these two cheery guys know each other).

McGuire declared loudly that Trump is driving ‘… every scoundrel, skunk, thief, deceiver, two-faced liar [out of Washington]…’ which makes sense now that I think of it because they tape the program in Missouri.

On the same show Bakker declared, “There’s probably a hundred hit men been hired to kill Trump, or more. I know this in the spirit. He’s so hated that they want him dead.” You know, I should be in this business: tell a pre-conditioned, like-minded audience that ‘the spirit’ told me about something that could possibly be true but is impossible to prove. If it happens you are a prophet, if it doesn’t happen, keep quiet. Hey there’s an idea, I vote for keeping quiet.

One final word (sounds prophetic!), his PTL Shop: Faith Based Home Shopping Network of crappy gift crap and crappy apocalyptic survival crap is doing well, and why wouldn’t it be if every guest on his program is excited about the end of time?

Anyway, because I’m cheap I thought I’d check out the clearance bin and found some pretty sweet deals: a pink water bottle (because pink survival gear is hard to find); a case of duct tape because you can’t just run down out to the store and get that (wait, yes you can); and my personal favourite, Limited Edition PTL Restoration Parallel Bibles because it’s important to understand restoration with two parallel Bibles in one. You can’t just run out to the store and get yourself a Bible (darn, yes you can again!) But this one is a limited edition. Thank goodness.

Well, I’m feeling kind of icky after researching a bunch of this stuff. Jesus said, ‘My yoke is easy, my burden is light’. In other words, living for God is not easy because doing good is selfless and counter-cultural, but it is ultimately lighter and more fulfilling than the smothered life these circus performers preach in their manipulative ministries.

The circus is still in town. Time for a shower.

Who is more to blame: the people who do these things or the people who empower them? What do you think?