A few lines from poorly edited church bulletins:

  • Strength will rise ass we wait upon the Lord…
  • From the Apostles’ Creed: “…born of the virgin Mary, suffered under Panties Pilate…”
  • Thou shalt commit adultery.
  • Hymn No. 227 – “The Friendly Breasts”
  • Sermon… “Why Adultery” Last hymn… “Why Not Tonight”
  • “For ours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.”
  • Announcement that a local Christian school was putting on the musical “Hell, Dolly.”
  • “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve been.
  • “Hymns in the Park! Come prepared to sin!”
  • “How Great We Art”
  • “Bring ye all the tithes into the whorehouse.”
  • “The peach of the Lord be with you all”.
  • Greater love hath no man than this, that a man should lay down his wife for his friends.”
  • “…and lead us into temptation…”
  • “Please Rise and Sin”
  • “Friday is Adult Movie Night!”
  • “I upped my tithe this year. Up yours.”


Thank you Jonathan Aigner at http: //www.patheos.com/blogs/ponderanew/